Technology
Ordering pizza in 2022
Collar: Is this a pizza hit?
Google: No sir, this is Google Pizza.
Caller: Sorry, I dialed the wrong number.
Google: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
Collar: OK. I would like a pizza
Google: Would you like to order your favorite pizza, sir?
Collar: How do you know my favorite pizza?
Google: According to our Caller ID datasheet, you ordered a pizza with three things, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick layer the last 12 times.
Collar: Brilliant! That's what I want to order.
Google: Can I order a vegetable pizza this time?
Collar: What? I don't want to eat vegetable pizza!
Google: Sir, your cholesterol is not good.
Caller: How do you know?
Google: From your medical records we have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Collar: Okay, but I don't want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take my cholesterol medication.
Google: Sorry sir, but you didn't take your medicine regularly. According to our database, you once bought a box of 30 cholesterol tablets from Boots Pharmacy 4 months ago.
Caller: I bought more from another pharmacy.
Google: It does not appear on your credit card record.
Caller: I paid in cash.
Google: But you did not withdraw enough money according to your bank statement.
Caller: I have other sources of cash.
Google: It does not appear on your recent tax returns unless you have made money illegally.
Caller: What nonsense!
Google: I'm sorry sir, we only use such information to help you.
Caller: That's enough! I'm fed up with Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and more. I am going to an island without internet, TV. Where there is no Nafon facility and there is no one to spy on me.
Google: But you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
Welcome to the future :)
